I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
