Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
