I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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