Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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