no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
