yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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