I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
