We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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