then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
