he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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