I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This is classic penis vs brain.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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