Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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