I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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