In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
