bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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