he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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