Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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