How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
