I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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