His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I queefed so loud it echoed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
