If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
