You're so nebulous sometimes
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
