Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
