Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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