So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
