oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
