Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my shit smells like andre
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
