ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
