K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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