i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
