just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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