I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
