genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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