all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Randomize
