Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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