We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
