Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
