Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
