so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
