Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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