You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
