similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
