My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
