Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
