Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
