come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
