he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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