nut hugger
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize