So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
