I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
