What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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