youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
