Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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