If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize