Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
