but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
