420 ftw
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I looked at my own cervix.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize