we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
