dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
