It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
