I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
