ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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