Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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